Cranberries Part 2: "Where'd They Get That Red Hair?"

This question is addressed to me when I'm with my children. I hear it at least once a week...and after 4 1/2 years it throws me into a homicidal rage! The first time it happened, my son Jake, was hangin' out in the Baby Bjorn. We were head to head at the ticket counter in the airport getting ready to rendezvous with Daddy in Maryland. The question was posed by a gate agent -- a self-proclaimed "former redhead". At first I thought he was joking. He had to be.

OK...before I get too far ahead of myself. Let me introduce you to the family:

This is me

These are my kids, Jake & Delila (aka: Buddy Boy and Ladybug)
(Yes, I have better pictures of my kids, but I just can't resist sharing this crazy photo with the world as often as I can. Admit it -- made you laugh!)

This is me with my kids
(and yes, I hate this picture of me in the "will call hat", but it's the only one I have of our three heads together.)

Now seriously...would you ask this woman where her children got their red hair?!? Am I not a redhead? My friends don't understand why this question sends me around the bend. That's because they're not redheads.

You see, I was stereotyped the moment I was born, and I've been defined by my hair ever since. I was "the ginger one" (according to Uncle Maurice). I was called "Red" and "Carrot Top" (UGH!!). I was "fiery" and "hot tempered" (Ok, so maybe that part's a little true. In 1st grade Kevin called me Carrot Top so I whopped him in the head with my lunchbox - the old metal kind with the heavy glass thermos inside. Hey, he had it comin'!) And then as I got older I had to put up with all the "Hey...are you a natural redhead?" crap. "Why, yes I am. And no, I'm not going to drop my pants and prove it to you." Grrrrrr!

After a lifetime of BS like that, I'm entitled to be recognized for handing down the gene to my kids. I have earned the right to be a redhead forever! Granted, my hair doesn't blaze like it used to. The color's mellowed a little with age -- and so have I. (I haven't clocked anyone for asking me where my kids get their red hair...yet.) But I'm still a redhead, g'dammit!!!

That's where the cranberries come in. I have decided that, after 4 decades of going au naturel in the hair department, I'm going to give my hair a little boost. Apparently, rinsing my hair in 1/4 to 1/2 cup of cranberry juice will liven up my red a bit. On the advice of my hairdresser, I'm using the regular stuff: Ocean Spray Lite Cranberry Cocktail. 'Lite' because I don't want my hair to get fat. (Huh? Wait. I'd love some fat hair...and some phat hair. Scrap that. I'm going fully sweetened!) And nothing organic or preservative free, because according to the haircresser, the purer the juice the more permanent the color. Since this is my maiden voyage, I'm going to stick with the stuff that will wash out after a few shampoos...you know... just in case I end up looking...well...like a cranberry.

I'm going to try it for a week. I'll post the before & after pictures for you. Now, if anyone would like to join me on this voyage, feel free. Here are a couple of options -- just in case you don't have what it takes to be a redhead:

Dark hair: rinse with 1/2 c vinegar mixed with 1/4 c soy sauce. Leave in for 15 to 20 minutes. (BTW, soy is very nourishing for hair -- loaded w/proteins that make hair nice and strong.)

Fair hair: brew a strong cup of chamomile tea. Spray/comb into dry hair. Leave in for 20 minutes before shampooing (sitting in the sun during the 'leave-in' period will further enhance the effects). This will lift the color and add subtle highlights to light brown and blond hair. The effects of this probably wont wash out since it's not really an 'added' color. If you have an itchy scalp, this should be great for it since chamomile is very soothing to the skin.

Let me know if you try it. And stay tuned for the results!